Goal Digging.

I've really had my head stuck in the clouds for the past couple of weeks.  I'm daydreaming about the time that I'll be working as a restorative exercise specialist, helping people get their bodies back in alignment.  I've been picturing the layout of a clinic I'd like to open, I've been making notes for seminars I want to do.  I've set lots of goals over the years, both short and long term, and I'm at it again.  To help myself, and you as well, I've made a short list of 3 helpful handy hints when it comes to setting goals, or as I like to call it, "Goal Digging".

Tip number 1:  Dont' be afraid to take your time and look as far down the road as you'd like.

A wise man once said "He goin' make into a Benz out of that Datson.  He got that ambition baby, look in his eyes.  This week he moppin' floors, next week it's tha fries", and truly those are inspiring words we can all live by.  It's not about where you are now, it's about working toward your goals step by step. You're not going to reach your goal over night (unless your goal is eating an entire extra large pizza in one sitting.  In which case, shut the blinds so no one can see what a freak you are).  You've got a long life ahead of you, (unless you're eating extra large pizzas every day) so it's fine to take your time to really work hard to reach the goal you've set.  Take the clinic I want to open.  I only just started the first part of my alignment course.  I still have to master 17 DVDs worth of exercises, know them by heart, what they're for, who can do them, what the modifications are for those with injuries, etc.  Then I have to go down south to either Washington or California to get certified.  After that I'll have to work for a while to build up clients and money to open the clinic.  Plus Myriam will have to be in school because I can't take care of her and run a business like that full time...the point is, it's a long, LONG way off.  But that does not stop me from setting my goal, and taking baby steps toward it each and every day.

Tip number 2:  Don't let your life NOW get in the way of your life LATER.

This can apply to so many things!  Remember when you were 10 and you had to have a new bike because the one you were riding was grey and not a cool color and hurt your nether regions every time you landed a sweet jump?  Did you let your life (unemployed, broke, still in school) stop you from achieving your goals?  No!  You worked hard every day, always making time to bug the shit out of your parents to get you a new bike, and you succeeded!  Good job asshole, now your parents are going to be late with their mortgage payment this month, but you achieved your goal and that's what matters.

Maybe you'd like to train to be a graphic designer so you don't have to work at Tim Horton's when you're 40, but you have a 2 year old preventing you from going back to school full time.  Don't let that little brat stop you!  Think about going back part time, or if that's not an option, start doing some self learning (buying books, researching on the interwebs) so that you'll be really prepared when your crappy kid is finally in Kindergarten.  Go back to the first tip of not being afraid to make your goal a long term one.  Slowing down is ok, but you don't have to give up on your dreams just because you have an obstacle in your life right now.

Tip number 3:  Change the way you think about working toward a goal.

I'm sure we've all heard the old adage "Life is about the journey" or whatever it is they say, but it is true.  Don't discount the path you take from point A to point B.  I know it's going to take me several years to reach some of my goals (like getting a diamond studded golden grill for my teeth) but that doesn't mean I'm in limbo until I get there.  Use your time wisely in a way that makes you happy now and propels you ever closer to your goal.  If you go back to handy tip 2, and make sure you're not making excuses for not working toward your goal, hopefully you won't ever feel like you're just waiting around for all your magical dreams to come true.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to stretch my hamstrings.  My goal is to be able to touch my toes in 7 years, but I have to work on it now if I ever want that to happen.

What's my motivation?

I got a really neat email this morning from a girl developing an app to help people with weight loss.  I won't go too much into it, since it's her idea and I'm sure she doesn't want any of you filthy pirates robbing it, but in essence, it makes weight loss a fun game.  The idea is that some people are more motivated by a high score than they are by their current health and longevity.  I think the idea is great.  The concept of discovering what motivates people, and then channeling that to help them reach their goals.

So it got me to thinking about motivation in general, and what motivates people to do what they do.  Everyone knows you're supposed to eat plenty of raw fruits and vegetables, and that Pepsi melts nails (construction, not finger), that aspartame gives monkeys brain damage, etc. etc. but lots of people still eat crap, and don't make any effort to improve.  On the other hand, some people are right on the ball with their health.  I have a friend who actually only eats raw food.  EVER.  She is very motivated to take care of herself.  What about smokers?  That smoking causes cancer and other horrible diseases (like the dreaded "yellow finger") is common knowledge at this point.  So, are smokers motivated to smoke, or are they just not motivated to quit?


There seems to be an ebb and flow to motivation as well.  Personally, I find it really hard to get my motivation up and keep it there (it's called MD, "motivational dysfunction" hehe).  I guess that's why I have about 7 unfinished crochet projects scattered around the house, and I have a place mat scotch taped behind my sink for the DIY back splash I was planning on making, and why lettuce always goes bad in my fridge (no motivation to make a salad).

There are many different reasons to do things.  Money, appearance, fear, to gain something, to prevent something.  It seems to me, however, that the most effective motivator is passion (pronounced "PASHon", Antonio Banderas style).  If what I'm trying to do is a random passing idea, and isn't a manifestation of everything that I love in life, a way to realize all my hopes and dreams, chances are it isn't going to get done.  So, since a kitchen back splash doesn't give me goose bumps, keep me up at night, make me emotional because I feel so happy when I think about it, it looks like I'll be re-sticking the tape on that place mat for months, maybe even years to come. 

Luckily for me, I've actually found something that does make me feel like that, and it's probably not what you think it's gonna be.  You all think that I'm really into art, and I am, but not the way that I'm into...science.  I have enrolled in a program about full body alignment, and it's the most sciency thing I've ever done.  I'm learning about blood physics, skeletal mechanics, thoracic this and cervical that. I'm learning why wearing high heel shoes makes you lose bladder function.  I'm learning why poor posture leads to cardiovascular disease.  And yes, I do get emotional from time to time during lectures explaining all this jibber jabber.  After all my going on and on about what path to I'm on, what direction I'm supposed to take in life, it seems that I have found it.  I've never been so happy, or loved what I'm learning and doing so much.  And  I believe that is the motivation I need to keep me going for a long, long time.  :)

You see what you want to see.

I know I complain a lot about my kid, but mostly I'm just kidding.  The truth is, she's nothing more and nothing less than herself.  She needs to be picked up more often than other babies.  She has an unpredictable sleep schedule.  She may or may not eat when food is placed in front of her.  Sometimes she nurses 3 or 4 times at night.

She also does a lot of really cool stuff.  She usually asks for the potty (even at restaurants) when she has to pinch one off.  I can count on one hand the dirty diapers I change in a month.  She says a lot of words, always knows when it's her dad on the phone, recognizes pictures of her grandparents, and always knows to say "Bop" (pop) right after she says Nan.  When her Baby Einstein video says the word "friend", she looks at me and says "Mai?" because Mai is the little girl next door, her best friend.

So, high needs, low needs, mad skills, no skills, she just is what she is.  The hard part of my job is having the patience to deal with the times when her "flaws" seem the greatest.  That gets me to thinking about labels again (click), and how we tend to label benign traits according to how convenient or inconvenient they are for us.  For example, Myriam needs a great deal of attention and physical contact.  Some people call it needy, clingy, or say she's too dependant.  But you could also see this trait as securly attatched, bonded, or loving.  Another example is when we go out places, or have new people visit our home; she takes a while to relax and be at ease. She's really "sensitive".  Or shy.  Or a scaredy-cat. Or, as I would rather see it, she's very perceptive, and aware of her surroundings.  She's not a wimp, she has an analytical mind, and needs to figure things out before she's fully comfortable. 

See what I'm getting at here?  None of these traits are either negative or positive, but the words we attach to the traits give them a good or a bad value.  It's a classic glass half full, glass half empty scenario.  Personally, when describing my daughter, and life in general, I'd much rather be going around with my glass half full.  And when there's only a drop left in the bottom, I want to exclaim "Sweet!  There's still a drop left in here!".

Make a night of it.

My wicked awesome next door neighbour and I were hanging out the other day in her driveway with our babies.  It was a hot sunny day, unusually so for late September.  The visit was short, only about half an hour or so, but it was SO MUCH FUN.  Not kidding you, it was the highlight of my day.  Last night we were hanging out again, contemplating how something so mundane could be so much fun.  She noted that when we were kids, fun was measured by how long something lasted, how much action there was, whether or not you were up past 2 a.m.  She thought it was funny that now, a quiet evening at home with her family or a 30 minute chat on an otherwise busy day could bring the same amount of enjoyment as an all night house party, or a long night of dancing at some bar downtown.  My spouse thinks that perhaps as you get older, any respite from responsibility feels like so much fun.  Like, wow, I'm not in an office at 9 a.m. trying to teach some old guy how to send an email.  Or, wow, I'm not cooking while doing the dishes while trying to comfort a screaming baby who just.won't.sleep.  Hell yea, sitting on hot asphalt with a great friend sounds a LOT better than that. 

While I love relaxing and getting a bit of down time with friends, sometimes I wish I could be productive at the same time as I'm being social.  Turns out, there's a great way to do that!  Well, depending on what you consider productive.  It won't work if you're a welder, but works great if you're a writer.  I'm talking about a writing jam!  Or a drawing jam, knitting jam, excel spreadsheet jam (if that's what you're into).  I'm so excited I've finally found a friend here who wants to go to a coffee shop and hang out and write.  Not talk, just do some productive work for pleasure.  I used to do this all the time in Newfoundland with my fellow drawers and writers, but since I moved here I haven't really found anyone who enjoys working while hanging out with friends (I know right, wtf? Who doesn't love to work instead of converse?) 

It's not for everybody, that for sure.  There are a lot of people who either need alone time to work, or are just too into chatting to be able to get'er done.  However, when you find someone that it does work with, the results can be fantastic.  Not only are you not being a social reject, isolated and alone with your pathetic ideas, you actually have a second mind to bounce said ideas off of.  I'm never as creative on my own as I am when I'm working along side others.  Eskimark, //d, Jackie, Bekki, Lacey, I'm thinking of yous guys.  The creative energy that develops when two (or more) people are involved is so inspiring, so motivating... I can't wait to be at it again on a regular basis.  It's one of those things that makes me feel like my "old" self (pre-Myriam), and it's also a wonderful way to keep the creativity alive.  Less like a shriveled old raisin in the back of your mind, more like a juicy bunch of grapes, where each grape is a different idea.  Right? Right?  (This is one of those times where I need a second mind to bounce my pathetic ideas and lame jokes off of).  Does anyone else love to do this, or is it just me and my anti-social friends?  Here's an antique photo of me when I was like, 23.  My friend //d took it one night when we were having a design jam.  Thanks D!!!

Etsy Banners.

I said a while ago that I wanted to focus more on my own things, more sewing, more designing.  I've done just that.  :)  I won't give it all away right now, but check out these 3 Etsy banners I just made. I'm working on getting some new things up in the shop over the next 2 weeks or so.  Can't wait!!  I like the first banner the best I think.  What do you guys think?

When you're not where you thought you'd be.

Sometimes I look at myself and my life and thoughtlessly compare it to other people's.  Like that girl I know who is a marine biologist.  Or that couple that just spent 2 weeks in Thailand after their lavish wedding ceremony.  Or my successful graphic designer cousin who is in her early 20s and just bought a house with her boyfriend who is a doctor (fairy tale much?).   Up until a little over a year ago, I was still living in an icy cement block of an apartment where the windows were drafty and getting hot water in the morning was a matter of luck and timing, never a guarantee.

Then I think of my parents, who suffered a devastating blow after my father was crippled in a motorcycle accident 27 years ago.  Talk about not being where you thought you'd be: in a hospital bed smoking what you thought was your last cigarette,  working at a shoe store in the mall and suddenly being (essentially) a single mom trying to pay for a house.  I think of another lady I know, who ended up being a single mom to three children because her ex husband was too much of a crap sack to stay with.  I think of and old friend whom I haven't spoken to in a decade, and wonder if her cancer ever came back a third time, I wonder if she's still around.

There are so many different circumstances you can find yourself in, and things can change gradually over time, or suddenly one rainy night.  You can always find a new circumstance though, a new path.  My mother went to night school so she could get a better job (which she got, fyi).  My father, after a year and a half of learning to walk again, learned how to program computers when he could no longer be a mechanic (due to crip-walking.heh.)  The lady who was the single mom ended up running 3 mad-successful businesses SIMULTANEOUSLY and still seems to find new opportunities every day (I'm not kidding you, this woman is my business-hero).   When you find yourself saying "I'm not where I thought I'd be",  you can remind yourself that no one is.  At one point I thought I'd be teaching English somewhere in Asia, I thought I was going to be a speech pathologist, I thought I was going to work at an insurance company forever, I thought I'd always be alone, I thought I'd always be childless.  I am, however, none of those things.  If you dont' like where you are at the present, you can always make a new choice, find a different path to walk on.  You might end up somewhere better than you thought you'd be.

Writing an artist's statement when you're not an artist...

 I'm participating in FOE (Festival de l'Outaouais Emergent) in a couple of weeks, from Sept. 8th to 11th.  While I'm really excited, I'm also really nervous!  I keep worrying that I don't have enough merchandise to stock my table, or that none of it will sell, or that it will all sell and then I'll have to sit at an empty booth for 3 days (yea right).

I was asked by the organizer the other day to submit an artist statement for my work.  The only problem is, I'm not really an "artist" at the moment, and I don't feel like I'm making art!  I've been over and over the question of what art is a million times when I was in art school.  There are so many answers and none of them seem to be wrong.  My own personal definition has to do with intent.  If the person who made it says it's art, then it's art, within reason.   Although perhaps it's not fair of me to assign a condition based on my own personal bias to someone else's work.  Who am I to define something so subjective and personal to someone else?

The point is, what I'm doing at this moment doesn't feel like art, but has the same process as my artwork would normally have.  I guess you could call it "wearable fabric sculpture", but I prefer to call it "hair accessories".  See my dilemma?  Of course I could fluff it up, lie through my teeth and clumsily impose some kind of meaning to the work.  Honestly I just like making things that are fun and pretty, and I enjoy the actual process of it all; hand sewing, placing tiny beads in just the right place, fussing over every minute detail. So, shag it, I thought.  I'll just write about that!  Here it is, my "not art" artist statement!

 
I have always enjoyed the physical process of creating, whether with a pencil, a camera, or a needle and thread.  The more time and energy it takes to make, the more I enjoy it!  The Elephant Studio is a way for me to make a life at exhausting all my ideas and letting my hands create what ever I want, as soon as it comes to mind.

I'm really inspired by ornate costumes from the past, clothing from other cultures, art nouveau, and fashion in general.  Although we can't all dress like Marie Antoinette or a Chinese empress every day, I like to create pieces that impart a whisper of that fantastic luxury when worn, and blend their intended function with some sort of elegant or quirky visual appeal.  My hope is that people enjoy wearing the pieces as much as I enjoy creating them.