Jun 1, 2011

Hey man, can't be everybody's friend.

Anyone that knows me is probably aware that I am nice.  Really nice.  Too nice.  (For those of you that disagree, shut the F*@K up, you don't know anything anyways so your opinion is worth nothing).  I like to keep a cool head, and be kind and polite with everyone I deal with in life.  I like to write cheerful business emails in colloquial language to my suppliers, I like to be easy to deal with when something goes wrong (remember, I leave room for error so I don't have to panic and get nasty with people who let me down). 

A few days ago I posted about this stupid reject named C.Cassie who stole my American Apparel shirts because the illiterate freak from FedEx delivered them to the wrong address.  (here)  So I filed an inquiry with FedEx and I contacted American Apparel to see what they could do.  FedEx isn't really following up with me, and  American Apparel is now saying they don't want to reimburse me for the shirts because, and I quote "if no one was home when they delivered the package they would have sent it back to the depot".  Uhhh, are you STUPID?!  Someone was home.  C.CASSIE WAS HOME, but not at my home. 

The final verdict ?  "Since it was signed for and shows that it was shipped to the correct address; we cannot do anything for you."  Oh, but you CAN.  And you WILL.  Friends, for the first time in a LONG time, Ms. Nicol had to get nasty.  And not in a good way.  I pulled out all the stops.  I used power language, like "this is unacceptable" and "I'm not the one who screwed up in the first place" and "find a better solution" and "see you in HELLLLL!!" Ok, maybe not that last one, though I was tempted.  Instead of using phrases like "oopsie there was a mixy-doodle" I said "you got my order wrong".  My biggest hope in life right now is that the tone of my barely contained seething rage comes through in the email.

I even played the Mom card.  That's right, I'm fighting dirty!  I'm appealing to emotions, I'm bringing my personal life into my business and using it to make others feel guilty.  I know it's wrong, but it feels so right.  Shake and bake, that JUST happened.  For the first time, I didn't end my email with "thanks so much you rule call me every day your bestest friend ever, Jillian".   Seriously people, if I (a work at home MOM with a baby trying to scratch out a living in the dirt) have to foot the bill for the mistakes of FedEx (a massive empire,  complete with the ill fitting slogan "The world, on time", formerly "Relax, it's FedEx") I am going to seriously . lose . it .  What kind of world are we living in when poor mothers with barely a penny to their name are paying for the clear and obvious errors of multi million dollar companies? 

Anyway, it was a really hard email to write.  I wasn't all that mad when I had to  ask a supplier 3 times to please send me the correct equipment.  I'm not kidding about telling my sales reps that they rule.  I really do appreciate good service, and I really do understand that things go wrong sometimes.  I wasn't even furious that their screw up cost me a portion of my contract.  But this?  This is UNACCEPTABLE!!  And it's time I let them know!